Domestic violence is a criminal offense. Domestic violence has no social boundaries. Experience of helplines for women shows, that violence occurs in all social groups. Offenders can be scientists or businessmen, people with higher education and with lower levels of education, with high wealth, and being on the border of poverty.

Another common misconception: "If the wife wanted, she may leave her husband-abuser". There are many reasons that prevent women to get away from the abuser: ashamed to tell strangers about what happened; fear that the abuser will become more cruel; housing problems; economic dependence; lack of support from friends and financial assistance; emotional attachment to abuser. Most often valid set of reasons. The most dangerous period for a woman occurs after she decides to leave her abuser. In this situation, the man may become more aggressive in connection with the possibility of losing their "property".

Domestic violence does not stop over time. It is characterized by cyclical and gradual increase of acts of violence. It can start simply with criticism, going to the humiliation, isolation, then slap, kick, regular beatings, and sometimes death. A serious problem is not only the very existence of domestic violence, but also the fact that many women do not see any possibility to prevent this.

To fight domestic violence, you must understand what danger threatening you.

You are in danger from a partner if:

Your partner threatens you murder or suicide.

Your partner is in a state of depression, has a weapon or stalking you on the heels.

Your partner has problems with alcohol, drug or mental disorders.

Despite the fact that the situations of violence are different, there are common features of human behavior that may indicate the possibility of violence. It is important to be able to distinguish these signs in order to prevent or stop the violence.

Evaluate the behavior of your partner:

has correct stereotype about violent relationship;

traditional views on the role of men in the family and society;

the aggressiveness with children or pets;

shifts the blame for their actions on others;

he pathologically jealous;

he doesn't realize that violent behavior can have serious consequences;

he is trying to isolate the woman from any employment outside the home or communicate with other people;

physically rough with a woman;

threatens to commit suicide if the woman tries to break off relations.

The more features of aggressive behavior is present in your relationship, the more dangerous it is for you.

You subject to domestic violence, if you agree with most of the following phrases:

You afraid the moods of your partner;

You are subject to physical violence;

he constantly criticizes You for your everyday things (e.g., cooking, appearance, behavior);

he demeans in the presence of friends or family;

your partner forbids You without his permission to leave the house;

he threatening You;

your partner forbids You from seeing friends or relatives;

You are forced to engage in sexual relations against Your will (even if it's Your husband);

sometimes, the fault of the partner, You feel helpless and useless;

You feel the isolation.

Do not expect that the situation will get better by itself. To maintain self-esteem and health is necessary to solve this problem.

Women against whom directed violent behavior, may feel:

the gradual deterioration of health by strengthening emotional, physical, and economic violence;

low self-esteem, loss of self-confidence;

strong feelings of loneliness, shame and fear;

constant stress and psycho-physiological disorders;

a sense of frustration from the inability to solve the problem of domestic violence;

the growing sense of guilt directed against yourself.

Over time, the situation will only get worse. Not rare cases of murder and of suicide.

If You realize that you are in danger from a partner - You must prepare for actions beforehand.

Find out who can help (family, relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, helplines).
Devise an individual protection plan.

"Emergency kit" - keys, money, documents, keep in a safe place so you can quickly leave the house.

According to police arrival:

1) keep calm;

2) write a statement;

3) record registration number of the statement;

4) learn the names of police officers and their phone numbers;

5) show all injuries and damages;

6) tell police officers on other cases of violence;

7) specify witnesses, their names and address.
 

After the attack:

1) immediately contact the emergency station. Even if you think you do not need it, medical check-up will help you to gather evidence for a possible trial;

2) make sure that the doctor recorded all the information in the medical card;

3) save the evidence - torn clothing and broken things;

4) tell about your situation to someone you trust or call the helpline.

Having started, do not stop, despite the entreaties, requests. This is a temporary lull, if the situation persists, it may be even more dangerous.

Be aware of their rights under the law:

1. You can call the police to report the incident.

2. You can submit the claim about compensation of harm and damage .

3. You can limit the parental rights of the offender or to deprive him of parental rights if children are exposed to violence.

It would be better if You consult a qualified attorney in advance.

You have a right to Safety!

Autor: Stanislav Makhov

Grand Master in unarmed combat GROM International Martial Arts Association.

International Instructor of the knife COMMANDO battle,

5th dan - KOMBAT Karate,

3rd dan - Khenpo JITSU.

Instructor-guide for tourism (cycling, mountaineering).

Expert instructor survival.